How Striving for Perfection Killed My Creativity

In today's world, you can't throw a rock in a crowd without hitting a content creator. We're literally everywhere. Good luck hitting me though, I'm very agile for someone whose body was once fueled by pasta and perfectionism. Let me tell you something crazy. I burnt a beautiful watercolor painting of mine because I woke up and decided the woman's eyes weren't symmetrical enough. 70 hours of planning, painting, and perfecting only for it to end up smoking and smoldering in a rusty drum in my backyard.

Why did I burn it? I couldn't sell it or give it away because my name was attached to it. It wasn't my best. It wasn't good enough. That, and maybe I'm a little theatrical? I believed it was a failure and I was a failure.

Looking back, I now know perfectionism had a death grip on my creative process.

I would never share my art because I equated any type of criticism with failure.

Paralysis by Analysis

I used to wear the perfectionist label loud and proud, thinking it implied I was meticulous, had great attention to detail, and never overlooked anything. While some of those things may be true, what I didn't realize was how it was simultaneously damaging my ability to produce creative content.

I thought the perfectionist mindset was driving me to produce my best quality work when in reality, it was crippling me.

I was stuck in a hamster wheel of overthinking and self-criticism. The fear of making mistakes or receiving negative feedback prevented me from taking necessary risks and sharing my work publicly. Spoiler alert: you can't be a content creator without publishing content.

Perfectionism is a Trap

When I suffered from perfectionism, my process was weighted with fear and doubt. Instead of enjoying the flow that creative work offers, I gritted my teeth and fought against myself every step of the way.

I was Sisyphus, perpetually rolling a boulder up the hill, only for it to roll back down again as I found a new detail to nitpick. That stroke is too bold. The image looks overexposed. That song doesn't fit the video.

I was never fulfilled when turning in projects, despite positive reactions from friends or clients. My standards for myself and my work became so impossible that the creative process was a source of stress and fatigue.

Perfectionism drove me to focus only on the negative aspects of my work and completely disregard the positive.

Burnout and Reduced Well-being

Eventually, perfectionism took its toll on me mentally and made me lose sight of the bigger picture.

In my early career as a freelancer, my first drafts to clients were extremely polished, I would pour hours into producing flawless deliverables, only to be met with revisions that required me to undo so much of my work.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be that drafts exist for a reason. It's a tool to ensure your client's needs are being met throughout the process. That, and don't stand near the fire drum at the 2017 New Year's Eve party, or your leg will end up like your watercolor painting, but I digress.

I worked overtime often and had many unbilled hours. 40-hour jobs would end up taking me 60, the extra hours lost in frustration to the most irrelevant details. Though I rarely missed a deadline, I was overworking myself with nothing extra to show for it. It wasn't my client's fault, it was mine.

The pressure I put on myself to consistently produce flawless work caused so much anxiety, self-doubt, and a loss of enjoyment in the creative process that I gave up creative work completely.

Five years in the creative field and I was done. The passion, the expression, and the inspiration for art, video, and design were all lost to my obsession with perfection. I was like the last cornflake on the edge of a cereal bowl, withered, crusty, and stale.

Knowing it was time for a change, I took time away from the media industry to pursue other passions. I moved to Canada and worked as a canoe guide, I hiked in the Grand Canyon and even scuba-dived with sharks and manta rays in Hawaii.

Though I had lost myself professionally, I was thriving in my personal life. Traveling and spending time in nature allowed me to get to know myself in ways I could never have imagined. Being immersed in the natural world healed my spirit and forced me to look inward to address my neurosis.

Insecurity, imposter syndrome, and fear of failure manifested in my work through perfectionism. Though there are moments when I catch myself falling back into old habits, I have learned to redirect that line of thinking. Failure is a lesson, feedback fosters growth, and my work has value.

The first five years of my career were rough, but the last five have been a blast. I'm creating every day without fear and even had the courage to publish my website. I've grown so much on this journey and learned to overcome challenges with a completely new mindset.

Letting go of perfectionism gave me the courage to try new projects.

Overcoming Perfectionism

If perfectionism is hindering your creative process, I'm here to tell you that it can get better, but it takes work. If I feel myself struggling, I remind myself of these simple rules.

1. Set realistic standards and goals: Define what constitutes "good enough" and focus on meeting those standards rather than striving for perfection.
   

2. Embrace mistakes and learn from them: View mistakes as opportunities for growth and improvement. Embrace the learning process and understand that perfection is an unattainable goal.
   

3. Prioritize productivity over perfection: Set reasonable deadlines and prioritize consistency in content creation. Remember that consistent, high-quality content is more valuable than occasional perfect pieces.
   

4. Seek feedback and collaboration: Engage with peers, mentors, or an online community to seek feedback and diverse perspectives. Embrace collaboration and learn from the insights and experiences of others.
   

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that perfectionism is not sustainable or healthy. Celebrate achievements and milestones along the way, recognizing that progress is more important than perfection.

Perfectionism robbed me of my joy when it came to creative work. By understanding its negative impact and implementing strategies to overcome it, we can unlock our creativity, improve productivity, and produce meaningful content that resonates with our audience. Embrace imperfections, and focus on progress.

I'm grateful to say that perfectionism no longer dominates my creative process, and for now, I'm content with my work being fuelled by inspiration, creativity, and pasta.